Wedding Planner Help: Who to Invite

Preparing a Guest List and then arranging a seating plan for the  Weding Reception, are probably the most stressful parts of a wedding.
So take a deep breath and try to keep calm in the face of any disputes that arise over who to invite!


Additional Guests

Once the “must comes” are listed, the following groups need to be considered:

  • Work mates - it's best to invite just the boss or an obvious favourite or invite everyone. Picking and choosing just leads to hassles!
  • Children - this is your choice, but make it clear if young children aren't invited so there are no embarrassing confusions.
  • “They invited me…” - it's not mandatory to invite someone just because you went to their (or their child's) wedding. Unless their wedding was last week, things may have changed between you and they'd know that. Otherwise, just explain that numbers are tight.
  • Ex-partners - leave it up to your fiancé; if s/he is comfortable they can be invited, otherwise steer clear!
  • Guests' partners - single guests don't have to be invited “with guest”, but all coupled guests should have their partner included by name on the invitation even if the partner is not really known. The exception may be a group of work colleagues invited as a group without partners.

When choosing guests, it sometimes helps to preset some rules (eg ‘only work mates I see away from work') and to consider who will still be friends in five years' time. If you have too many guests on the list, the other option is to reduce costs per head – simplify the menu, change the brand of champagne, use cake as dessert, etc – so as to fit in more guests. Don't invite a higher number of guests on the assumption that many won't come as most people will make the effort to attend a wedding.

One way to allow for refusals is to send out invitations a bit earlier (8 or 10 months before the wedding) and then send more invitations as any refusals are received. Be careful not to send any invitations out after four weeks as this may offend. Above all, listen to each other and both sets of parents. You may not all agree on each guest, but listen to each other's preferences and try to find common ground. Keep the guest list in a book or folder with all their addresses for simplicity. This can also include any notes about who can't sit near whom, and so forth. Having these written down will ensure you don't forget feuds in the seating plans!